The Drama of Life

How often in life have you had that feeling of Déjà vu ? This is spooky, and I have once and again in my life felt that I am experiencing things that I already knew were about to happen and they occur in the exact same fashion as they did once earlier.

So, I ask myself if I am hallucinating or am I in a matrix. The nodes and the patterns appear to be the same. The setting and the plot are all familiar. The only difference is how “The me actor” manages to handle the situation differently and improvise.

Then I stumble upon a rather interesting subject – and I wonder if it explains some of these feelings…

Here is a Wiki explanation of a Social network:

A social network is a social structure made up of individuals (or organizations) called "nodes", which are tied (connected) by one or more specific types of interdependency, such as friendship, kinship, common interest, financial exchange, dislike, sexual relationships, or relationships of beliefs, knowledge or prestige.

Social network analysis views social relationships in terms of network theory consisting of nodes and ties (also called edges, links, or connections). Nodes are the individual actors within the networks, and ties are the relationships between the actors. The resulting graph-based structures are often very complex. There can be many kinds of ties between the nodes. Research in a number of academic fields has shown that social networks operate on many levels, from families up to the level of nations, and play a critical role in determining the way problems are solved, organizations are run, and the degree to which individuals succeed in achieving their goals.

In its simplest form, a social network is a map of specified ties, such as friendship, between the nodes being studied. The nodes to which an individual is thus connected are the social contacts of that individual. The network can also be used to measure social capital – the value that an individual gets from the social network. These concepts are often displayed in a social network diagram, where nodes are the points and ties are the lines.

Worlds most difficult driving test!!

I may have driven for over 20 yrs. I consider myself to be a safe driver and have never hurt anything or anybody until now. However the stringent laws for acquiring a driving license in this country is wee bit frustrating.

There are a gamut of books you need to read up for your theory test and just reading them casually is not enough as the questions are designed to flabbergast you anyway. The answers are not stereotypical and may wary from situation to situation. Which essentially means they trick you once and again. The gala “gödkant” (pass) is achieved only if you scored over 80 % and what’s more is that after all this hard work you need to pass the dreadful practical test within a span of 2 months or else you go through the entire exercise all over again.

When I say “the dreadful practical test”, I am not being the least dramatic. This is a test dreaded by even the most experienced drivers. Even after spending an average 20-30,000 SEK on training you may be refused the license for not having looked in the rearview mirror before turning on the indicator to show your intentions of changing the lane or for briefly driving in the left lane, which is considered an absolute taboo if you are giving your driving test.

And one wonders what do they achieve with such stringent laws, so here is what it is. Sweden claims to be targeting a zero fatality rate in the next few years. The number of persons killed in road accidents has dropped to 221 this year, which is about 50% less than 2007. The alcohol tolerance is so low that you would rather hire a cab then be brutally fined or jailed for being caught for drunken driving, which is the greatest cause for fatalities on road. This is something that even USA has been humbled for not being able to handle. In fact in USA the casualties have been on an up rise to a whooping 41471. If you look at the statistics of all of Europe, you may not see anything unusual. However, if one looks at the Nordic countries the statistics are unusually low, with the tiny little Iceland leading the way at 15 fatalities.

As I continue being frustrated and being ripped of financially by the traffic authorities here the only consoling factor is that it is all for a good cause. Amen.

A mid life beginning?

A typical life can be described in the following phases,

0 - 15 – Growing and learning phase
15 - 30 – finding a partner and experimenting phase
30 – 40 - settling down and reproducing phase
40 – 50 – regenerating health, wealth and security phase
50 – 65 – reflective phase
65 – 85 – watching the life your offsprings


I am perhaps half way through my life span. A time most people start to worry about midlife crisis, and here I am just beginning

To learn to speak, (a new language)
To learn to write, (creatively)
To study, (Masters in Interaction design)
To learn to drive, (on the other side of the road)

In other words, I am just beginning to rediscover life all over again and believe me I am just as nervous as I used to be at 20. I am wondering if this is a sign of failure or hope.

Parenting in Sweden

The expats of Sweden have many views about the country. The Europeans complain about shyness of the Swedes, The Asians complain about the extreme weather and the Americans complain about the miniature food portions. I agree that all of the above is true. However, the country’s ideology is very progressive, and that cannot be overlooked.

I meet many Swedes who are self-critical regarding certain issues and do not see eye to eye with the current policies. However, I have noticed that the Swedes are extremely forbearing people. They have amazing patience and incredible tolerance. This has its positives and negatives in various ways – the climate, multi cultural and multi racial tolerance with the influx of foreigners, on humanitarian grounds regarding adoptions, punishments, gender equality, sexual preferences, social welfare and immigration laws.

But what I most admire about this country is its scientific approach to most issues. They are not very emotional people. But they have their heart in the right place. I meet innumerable adopted people who are in there 30’s and 40’s now from Asian & African continents. I have seen parents going through many difficulties to adopt children from such countries. But I have seen them doing it simply because they want to do it. Not because Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has done it. Not as a fad, not as a charity and certainly not out of pity.

I have also noticed that the Swedish parents are incredibly patient towards their little ones. They talk to their children, explain them, teach them, but there is not a trace of stress. I have never seen a Swede raise their voice. And I think these characteristics can be attributed to government policies and the incredible importance given on parenting and also the special employment benefits received when you are a parent.

Both the parents get extra benefits for spending time with their children. This encourages equal parenting. While it may be natural for mothers to be more actively involved in the bringing up of a child in almost all other countries. In Sweden, mothers are not solely responsible to bring up the children as fathers remain busy at work. Even ‘stay at home’ mothers get paid for spending time with her child. And working mothers get almost a whole year off with 80 % salary after pregnancy. As opposed to Americans who resume work in the 4th week after pregnancy. It is no wonder that most Swedish women who marry foreigners drag them back to their country.

In fact, the environment in this country is almost simulated, incredible freedom, no stress and extreme honesty. It is almost too difficult for the Swedes to adjust to any other country. But the Swedes are too polite and laid back to even complaint of this.

Gadgets

Every year my dear husband gifts me with a new mobile phone – with extra features and extra complications at that. While I smile politely and say thank you honey, under my breath I am hating to start learning the manual all over again and figure how to get to the address book, and set up the speed dial and such.

I am very basic with gadgets…I like them as long as they are helpful and make my life easier, but when they demand too much from my brain, I feel exhausted. I like to use a mobile phone to make calls and a camera to take pictures and a computer to check email. I hate the Blackberries and the PDA’s and those scary looking multifunctional mobiles which open in strange ways.


However, my whole perception to modern technology and gadgets changed when I was gifted the iphone last year – it is a marvel of design according to me. The touch screen functionality is childlike simple. It is brilliant in its design because it is not based on human intelligence but on human intutions.


And that is the key to futuristic design – as I start my Interaction design course next semester I started to research the field – and it is almost fascinating to see what one can do with these modern gadgets. Have a look at some of these videos:

http://www.interactiondesignblog.com/2008/05/buttonless-remote-control/
http://www.interactiondesignblog.com/2008/04/microsoft-surface/


As of now, it is magical to see my 5 yr. old daughter reading interactive books, fishing, scribbling, sketching and learning her first alphabets on her shiny new ipad effortlessly and playing tennis, cycling and bowling on V.

Poetry

Here is a poetry from my creative writing course.

I have never done this before but it was fun writing this during my course plus I also learnt what a syllable means. And what's more, I also found out that there is poetry with different lengths - pentameter, tetrameter and so on.

Sonnet (Shakespearean)

I long to see your face divine
N’ sparkling eyes that shall brighten my day;
I yearn to hold you in my arms
N’ feel you suckle to my breast;
Every part of you shall I nourish
N’ groom you until you burnish;

I want to smell your drool ‘n dribble
I need to feel that special kindle;
I ache to kiss those pinky toes,
As you tumble to your petit feet;
When shall you mumble the goo ga n maa!
N’ when shall I feel like a complete me;
Oh! this waiting is sweet but sweaty,
Oh my love! I pledge to adore you zealously,
No matter what life proffers for you n me.

Tetra & Pentameter

It’s raining, it’s snowing, it’s shining n it’s bright
Oh! What a weather it is this April.
What should we carry n what to wear,
Befuddling everybody n causing much despair.
Starved to see the yellow, pink n green,
From November last until this April.
Global warming! or global chilling!
Who can answer to such mayhem?
The gods of nature are much displeased,
With the pace at which we humans flourish.
You ought to see the extreme imagination,
Of Manoj Night Shyamalan in “The Happening”.

A six word story

This is a very famous story in the literary circles - once challenged to use only six words to tell the story of his life, Ernest Hemingway wrote this;

"For sale - Baby shoes, never worn"

It is a masterpiece of talent, much brooded upon by many authors and writers. Hemingway was referring to a personal tragedy that the parents face when a new born/unborn child fails to survive.

To describe an entire story in just a few words is an exercise an advertising copywriter faces everyday. However, describing your whole life in just a few words may be challenging.

Perhaps not in the same league as Hemingway but I have managed to sum up my life into only four words;

"Live life - King size"

The interpretations are left to you.

Samples of my collages

Some of my paper collages

Is honesty the best policy?

I was watching this movie on a long flight – The invention of lying.

Here is a world where everyone is telling the truth and even the word ‘lie’ does not exist. And what can you imagine from a world like that? A perfectly chaotic one at that - everyone tells each other how exactly they feel about each other – blunt, frank and rudely honest. A fat guy is called fat and a loser is plainly told so and sacked from his workplace, couples are fighting because they cannot use an ounce of tact to maintain their relationship – it is almost detrimental.

Remember “liar liar” and Jim Carrey. Well this one was not as funny but the imagination of such a world is bewildering to most of us. Goes to show how far we need to go from the childlike honesty that we are born with to be polite and successful in this world.

Whats in a name?

Its amazing how sensitive people are about the way they are called. Your parents gave you a name, some of us take that very seriously insisting that everyone should call us exactly the way our parents did. Some others like to change it completely and call ourselves by a nick name or a short name or an abbreviated name or a characteristic name re-given to us by our mates, friends or colleagues - Chatur, Silencer, VD, DJ, Rush.

But the biggest issue is the pronunciation of your name...it varies from different countries to different accents to different societies. I have usually been nonchalant about the way my name is often said - anything that starts from R or sometimes even K, U, T... Krishina, Kristine, Usina, Trusina, Reesheena...as long as they get about 3 out of 7 alphabets right i forgive and forget. I attribute all flaws to my very unusual and meaningless name which people after mispronouncing it a few times find very lovely. It is like an artwork, very abstract is very interesting. Or maybe they are making up for saying it wrong innumerable times.

What makes me really laugh is when my daughter Aaliyah who is now 5 and bilingual tells me that she is Aaliyah in English and a very melodious Aleeeya in Swedish. Well, Jacob is Yakub and Jennifer is Yennifer and Nemo is Neamo and Peter is Patter so why not. It is hard to find a name that cannot be changed with such globalisation.

Winnie the Pooh

Pooh is a cuddly, easy going, honey loving, stress free bear that every little child would adore. A character i got introduced to by none other than my daughter.

Thanks to my daughter and of course its creator A.Milne & producer Disney Pictures the entire gang of 'Winne the Pooh' and his friends in the '100 acre wood' also happen to be a member of my family. And I mean this literally - each character with its own very distinct personality can be compared to a member of my family. It is absolutely charming to see how such diverse personalities inhabit together.

I was fascinated to understand the philosophy as described by Benjamin Hoff. Especially the parallels drawn between the personality of Pooh and the preachings of Taoism.The carefree, non egoistic, happy where you are kind of ways. One that goes with the harmony & rhythm of the universe, never challenges anything and yet accomplishes everything and still remains nonchalant about it.

I think it is fantastic - this is also the style of Taoist form of fighting called "T' ai Chi" which is gentle and elegant compared to the harsh & screaming Confucianist fighting "Kung fu".

It is quite difficult to attain Pooh's childlike simplicity and calmness in today's fast paced competitive world but it already feels relaxing just to think about it and i hope my little doll continues to be like her favourite Poo-bear.

You could get a personality check for yourself and check which character in the 100 acre wood you resemble at: http://www.hubpages.com/hub/Personality-Test